Christy's Weekly Wear

After years of searching for this illusive, seemingly improbable creation, I think I've found it: the perfect outfit.

While this might be an overstatement, I can safely say that the following ensemble is one of my most complimented to date.

THE BEST

Top: Anthropologie
Skirt: Anthropologie
Belt: Forever 21
Shoes: DSW

I wore this to work the other day, and a surprising number of security guards told me they liked my outfit. People on the street were stopping me to offer their affirmation. It was a miracle.

Like almost everything I own, this get-up comes with a story. Get used to it.

Once upon a time I was employed by Anthropologie, a high-end clothing store that many of us consider to be heaven on earth. I got this job straight out of college as part of my post-college life-crisis. I figured I could work there for a while, maybe do a little shopping, and apply for jobs in the meantime. Somehow I believed that the soft glow of the expensive candles and the high thread count of the bedding would produce in me a kind of peace that I was lacking in my life. 

Now that I've left Anthropologie, I think it is my job to inform all of you dreamers that being an employee there is seriously not that great. You have to space clothes perfectly on hangers (a practice known as "finger-spacing") and sometimes rude customers come in and crap all over your day like it's their job to do so. Also, you are daily surrounded by beautiful things that can never be yours. It is a cold warehouse of rejection. 

The upside to my experience was that I randomly chose to work at one of the most profitable Anthros in our district. In the time I was there, our employees were rewarded with TWO days where everything in the store was 50% off. Needles to say, every dime I made from these guys went right back into their pocket as I walked away with an incredible new wardrobe. 

Hence the skirt and top shown above. Believe it or not, after owning this skirt for over a year, this is the first time I have worn it out in public. I just never knew what to wear with it. Then one day it dawned on me. Like a mad scientist, I joined these two unlikely pieces together and stood back to admire my creation. "It's alive!" I screamed as I belted the waistline. Then I cackled and there was lightning and my disfigured assistant cowered in the corner.

If you need a visual of that disfigured assistant, here you go:

THE WORST

I have been calling this my uniform. Every day when I come home from work, I immediately put on this sweatpants/tank-top combo. It was all well-and-good until I went out for groceries in it the other day. 

Also, I am literally wearing it right now. 

When will I learn?!

I don't know. I really don't know.